Can women really have it all, or is it just BS we tell ourselves?
14th April 2019
As I sit in the car in Tescos carpark with a screaming and crying two year old telling me he hates me, I’m thinking to myself “can a women really have it all?”
I started my first business back in 2013 as was made redundant, so desperately needed work to earn money, and as I’d just had my daughter I needed something flexible to work around childcare and my ‘mum duties’.
Back then self employment seemed an attractive option, and as most women chose self employment due to circumstance, when I accidently stumbled on my first VA client through referral, I decided that I had nothing to lose but to take the leap!
It seemed too easy, as one client turned into three, then into seven, and so on, all from word of mouth and no advertising or promotion needed. I was onto a winner!
Roll on six years later, and the increasing use of social media, more crowded marketplace, and more and more businesses popping up claiming instant success and to be the next most knowledgeable and ‘popular’ expert, this has meant that more and more effort is needed to be put in to marketing, promotion and selling than ever before…
…and we are told that social media makes our lives easier in business right?
So, back to my screaming two year old (who has since calmed down as Daddy has returned to the car – typical *eye roll*), these little moments make us realise that being a woman, mum and business owner is bloody hard work. Plus all we seem to get is shit over it.
We get shit for wanting to spend time with our kids.
We get shit for wanting time away from our kids to work.
We get shit for wanting to earn our own money.
Then more shit about not earning enough money.
The list goes on and on and on.
Plus, along with the self hate we put on ourselves, it utterly sucks!
But (and this is a huge but), even during these hard times, moments of doubt, self hating, etc, and even now I spend more time than ever working, plus juggling time with the children, family, friends, etc, I absolutely love it all.
If I had a ‘normal’ 9 to 5 job, I would not be able to spend the school holidays with the kids and take days off at the drop of a hat. I also wouldn’t have the flexibility to work when I wanted (as I’m a night owl so love turning on the laptop in the evening, while watching a girlie film or geeky documentary!)
I also love what I do – supporting other women in business (like me) to achieve their dreams – how blinking awesome is that?!
I get to follow this passion every day, while being a mum and sharing the special moments with my babies (like the other day when I was on the phone to a kick-arse client, I could still watch both kids building a lego castle together and laughing when they kept knocking it down!)
And while I’m not close to being a millionaress any time soon, my income has no ceiling, so even at times of financial worry and struggle I feel optimistic that I can grab a new exciting opportunity to turn things around (which you can’t do at that ‘normal’ job).
So, as I’m now out of the car with the previously histerical two year old, and snuggled up next to my much sweeter and kinder six year old watching Peter Rabbit, I realise the answer to my question.
As women we can’t have it all all the time, because as business owners, mums, and with all the other responsibilities expected of us as women we have to prioritise – meaning at times we have to drop a few balls we are juggling and some things have to give.
But while we can’t have everything all the time, we don’t have to give up on dreaming to want more for ourselves just because we are women.
It’s not all bull plop, as while we are building and growing our businesses, and while our children (if we have them) are growing up, we have to sacrifice part of our overall life goals – however we don’t have to park them forever.
Once our kids have flown the nest, once our businesses have blossomed into bigger enterprises, once we have grown into the vision of ourselves we want to become, the money will organically come, the dreams will naturally be fulfilled, and we will have it all (eventually).
So, in short we can have it all, because life and business is a marathon not a sprint.
Remember that the tortoise always wins the race. Every. Single. Time.
It’s just a question of playing the waiting game, and when it’s your time everything you deserve will come to you – you just need to work hard, trust in the process, and believe.