My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes, most of which have never happened ~ Mark Twain
Do you ever jump to a negative conclusion?
Are you scaring yourself into not doing something that might be great for you? Whether a business opportunity or something personal? What if we go beyond feeling scared and turn that fear into excitement instead?
Many people I meet in my work are brilliant at conjuring up free fall ‘fast track to disaster’ films in their heads. For example, fear of driving, of being ill, or fear of failure. Anxiety and fears are very common things clients see me about.
“What if xyz happened?” is a common negative-focus question. The intention is unconsciously on keeping safe. However, the emotional button marked ‘fear’ is pushed if you are imagining things going wrong.
My Bucket list fear
Recently a few of us at Her Business Brew were talking about a charity SkyDive in April this year, in aid of Nelson’s Journey, a charity supporting young people following the loss of a loved one.
A tandem skydive is on my ‘bucket list’. Up to now, I hadn’t found someone willing to take part with me (a make or break for me doing it). So I was delighted to hear Serena considering doing the SkyDive, along with Missy and a few others. I felt a little uncertain, though pleased to have companions. I’m jumping out of a plane with an experienced skydiver, so, my initial uncertainty and anxious thoughts calmed down somewhat.
However, a week or so later a ‘what if’ appeared “what if Serena and the others decide not to do it?” I thought, “What if I’m on my own?” Rather than stew over this, I rang Serena to ask, relieved when she said she was definitely doing it.
Now I asked myself, “what if I have the best experience ever?!”
We need to mentally prepare, avoiding anxiety-creating “what if’s” – getting into an actively positive state is really useful for being at your best!
Steps I recommend to prepare for an event or something important:
Visualise the important event as much time before as you can
Get into visualising the thrill/positivity of an experience. As much detail as needed. For me, the plane, the wind rushing, what I’m saying/ whooping! Seeing other people, thoughts on the jump’s meaning to me.
Write down a brief statement using positive phrases and verbs to accompany the visualisation – use all senses
For example, for me, “I’m seeing myself and my companions smiling. I’m as free as a bird, the pull of air rushing through my arms and legs feels wonderful.. Now I’m floating gently, looking across the airfield, with the ground slowly rising up. Friends are waving, cheering and clapping. Feet on the ground now, I’m feeling amazing, I’ve done it! My thumbs are up, I’m saying “that was fantastic!”
Read the statement (& visualise) every night just before turning the light off and going to sleep
Repetition is necessary. Doing this just before sleep (or just as you wake) is when you are at your best, to absorb unconscious suggestion. Apply this approach to something you want to enjoy or have success at. This is one way of preparing and knocking any spiralling doubts out the window.
Will you give it a go? Maybe join me in skydiving for charity!
About the Author:
Angie Giles is an experienced hypnotherapist, counsellor and coach based at the Norfolk Clinic Complementary Healthcare Clinic, 38-40 Magdalen Road, Norwich, NR3 4AG.
Call Angie directly on 07773 610816 or email firstname.lastname@example.org