Firstly, HAPPY new year to you. I want to stress that word “HAPPY”.
I have purposefully waited to send you this message, as I wondered if, like me, you have been bombarded with New Year NEW you messages and emails during January? How does it make you feel? I have to admit it doesn’t make me feel that great at all!
So here’s my thing – what is wrong with the EXISTING you???
Note I say Existing and not “old”. You see, all this talk about changing yourself, Old you / New You etc – it’s all in negative language and straight away puts a barrier up.
Yes, of course, we all want to be the BEST version of us we can be, but by saying “New You” implies there was something WRONG with you the way that you were.
Is it really any wonder that we might not always achieve the resolutions we set ourselves when already we are sending negative vibes to our brain?
We’ve all been there – telling ourselves we must do this, stop doing that, deprive ourselves of this. The messages we send ourselves is always “you’re not good enough as you are”. But you know what – you are already fabulously gorgeous. When I work with women – and they come from all walks of life, all shapes and sizes, I focus only on ENHANCING who you already are.
By giving yourself a little bit of love and attention you are going to feel so much better about YOU. In my industry, we call this the “Cycle of Success”. When you feel good about you, you will approach the day/world with a whole new positive outlook. That, in turn, improves how you interact with others – you will be more perky, more upbeat, and this is the side of you that others love so much. So they relate better with you, which improves any situation and the outcome is always more positive. The brain then thinks “ooh I’m liking this” and so triggers the cycle of “rinse and repeat”.
Go on – try it – I dare you. In fact, I double dare you!! Instead of thinking of the multitude of things you feel you ought to change – go grab a pen and paper and write down THREE (yup, just 3), things you really like about yourself.
Have you done it?? Splendid – what did you come up with? If you found it difficult don’t despair. We have been conditioned to constantly focus on things we don’t like, or “need” to change about ourselves. Try it again – this time think of things that friends and loved ones compliment you on. Each time you write one down – embrace it, smile about it, let that feeling envelope you and make you feel all warm and fuzzy.
Well done you!
So now I would like you to write 3 more things. This time – write down 3 things you said you would reward yourself with if you reached a certain goal you set yourself. You know the sort of thing “when I lose 2 stone I will treat myself to a new dress, a new lipstick, a trip abroad”, etc etc.
Don’t write the first bit “when I lose 2 stone” or “when I quit smoking” – note the words “lose”, “quit” they are negative words so it really is no surprise they make us feel like we are depriving ourselves of something. Just write down the “treats”. Do make them realistic.
Now – imagine yourself purchasing a new dress that makes you feel fabulous, a new lipstick that really enhances your face or visiting a place you have always wanted to see. How does that make you feel?
Much better I’ll wager !!
So … go and do one of those things this week. Of course, I am not recommending you buying things willy-nilly, or for the sake of it, but if there is something out there that you have been coveting as a “reward” – just go get it. Reward yourself for being the gorgeous you that you already are.
If feeling fantastically confident is one of the things you have written down – don’t forget the first part of the Cycle of Success is “When you look great, you feel great and that in turn makes you feel more confident” – and then the steps continue as before.
I can help you feel fantastic in all areas of your Style. Why not drop me a line and let me know what your style and image frustrations are and I will put together a personal recommendation for you.
So here is to a fabulous 2018 being the fabulous SAME YOU!
With love and gorgeousness always,
For HER Chat Show
This guest blog post from our member Claire Butler – The Style Expert, is perfect timing as we launched the brand new For HER Chat Show earlier this week, with our first chat being titled New Year, Same You! Catch up on YouTube and join the For HER Chat Show Facebook group ready for the next chat on Monday 12th Feb at 8pm.